The Welfare Lady Took Me To School

Today Bad Quaker Dot Com is pleased to present our guest contributor, Kurt Thomas.

The Welfare Lady Took Me To School
How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Agora

I was greeted at the front desk of the New York State Labor Office by the usual inexcitable nose-picking troglodyte. It grunted at me as I took my gub’mint ID back. I politely grunted back.

I entered the hallowed inner chambers of government in a particularly foul mood. I have no problem at all accepting unemployment checks, and if you can not understand why an Agorist might smile at the thought of receiving unemployment benefits then I humbly invite thee to think a bit deeper. I will say no more on the subject. Somehow, though, being coerced into actually doing anything to recover a small fraction of the wealth which has been stolen from me never fails to elicit extreme irritation bordering on murderous rage.

No! I didn’t bring my resume, and no! I didn’t even bring a pen. I brought my Kindle, half a pack of Pall Malls, and a bad attitude. When I heard my name called I was ready to spit fire and shit nails. My ire softened a bit as I was greeted by a vision of beauty: dark skin, regal bearing, mysterious accent, glowing smile…..(sigh!) Too bad she is obviously a collectivist robot. Am I right?

We sat down at her cubicle and got down to “business”. What kind of work do I do? Do I have permission to drive? Do I have a resume? Would I like help with my interview skills? Do I need a clean pair of underpants? Will I require a titty to suck on? (You get the point). When we got to the part where she said I should email her my resume so she could “put me in the system” I asked her what percentage of people fortunate enough to be “put into the system” actually find jobs this way? She looked a bit flustered and informed me that she had “found a few people jobs……” I then asked her if any statistics were kept on the subject. She paused for a moment and I tensed, ready for another argument with a state robot about the futility of economic central planning.

“It is something the state pays for, so, you know…….I have to do it. That money could be spent better on other things.” Hmmm. I responded that it would be much better if the state didn’t steal from us in the first place. And she completely agreed! What followed was a twenty minute monologue, bordering on a full-blown rant, on the subject of government failure from the mouth of a state employee! She lamented the fact that in countries where speaking out and “doing something” were often met with brutal violence people actually risked their lives to oppose coercive government, but here in our own country where the same thing results in social discomfort or perhaps a damaged career nobody seems to have any courage at all. I attempted to interject a few sparkling pearls of my own brilliant insight, but to no avail. This young lady had some things to say and she was going to say them.

She spoke about the fact that corporate failures are engineered by the elite for fun and profit. She spoke about the Wall Street bail-out, General Motors bail-out, the Fed, and corporate welfare. She spoke about the unfairness of the wage tax. She spoke about the IMF and World Bank raping the economies of countless nations. She spoke about Monsanto trying to weasel its way into Haiti under the guise of humanitarian aid, and about its successes and the subsequent devastation in India. She spoke passionately and eloquently about a dozen other “failures” of the corporate-government crime syndicate. She spoke on many subjects far beyond my own limited education. And, brothers and sisters, she came to the same conclusion as us. I totally got schooled by the welfare lady! Viva Agora!

It is a myth that Voluntaryism and Agorism are small and radical schools of thought. The hundredth monkey ‘dun came and went. We are well beyond critical mass. The Agora has spread to every corner of the empire. Most people use a more conventional lexicon to express their rage but we are all One. We are all thinking the same things. But we are all scared. What comes next? How will I eat? How will I feed my family? How will I educate my children? What will happen to me when I get too old to work? Will I get thrown in a cage if I resist?

I don’t have many answers. What I do know is that food is the key to my survival in the chaotic decades to come. All of my short- and long-term planning is focused on access to local organic food production. I know that community based living is my only hope for survival and perhaps prosperity. I know that keeping out of cages and out of the corporate-industrial penal racket is paramount. I know a few more things that I won’t share publicly. Beyond that, I am open to suggestions. PM me.

–kurt thomas

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